Still Sick

by The Invalids

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1.
03:23
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03:14
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04:06
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02:24
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03:20
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credits

released January 1, 2011

Casey Crenshaw – Guitar, Vocals
Joe Cable – Guitar, Vocals
Scott Valid – Vocals
Sean Kehoe – Drums, Percussion, Saxophone
Slim Hoffman – Bass, Vocals, Piano

Recorded by Jesse Wickman at Atlas Studios (Santa Rosa, CA)
Mastered by Nathan Elder at Burning Token Multimedia (Santa Rosa, CA)

Extra special thanks to Tony Alfieri (Invalid 4 Life), and Mori Dinauer (for lyrical assistance on ‘Can You Fly Bobby?’).

Thanks to Billy Rowe, Colby Eierman, and Tyler Sugrue for loaning equipment used to make this recording.

Thanks to Michael John Houghton and JD Clem for booking us on the 2009 Nostalgia Fest show and making us get back together, and to Insubordination Records for re-releasing our Out of My Head CD in 2007.

Thanks to Gerry Stumbaugh and Saint Rose Records for putting this shit out.

Thanks to everyone over the years who has supported/encouraged/made fun of/hated us enough to keep us going. We wouldn’t still be here without you!

final arrangement on all songs by THE INVALIDS (Casey Crenshaw, Joe Cable, Scott Valid, Sean Kehoe, and Slim Hoffman), (c) 2010

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about

The Invalids Santa Rosa, California

The Invalids are a punk rock band from Santa Rosa, CA. Formed originally in 1993. Reformed in 2009. Current members are: Danny Eosefow (guitar), Scott Valid (vocals), Sean Kehoe (drums), and Slim Hoffman (bass).

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Track Name: Still Sick
Well it’s been a long time
Since I last talked to you
I’d like to think that we were done and that our conversation’s through.
Yet still I can’t deny it
When every sleepless night
I feel the ghosts around me, pulling the rope against my neck so tight.

Everytime, I think I’ve walked away
I come right back, to where I’m standing here today
Broken and wrecked, rotting from the inside out
A total mess, and I can’t deny it now.

Well I’m still sick
And I won’t quit
Falling apart until I die, or until I find a way to live this life.
And I’m still sick
But I won’t quit
Even though it’s been too long, gotta find a final way to right this wrong.

Rubbing elbows with strangers
Out on the street
I can’t help but wonder why they seem to think that everything’s complete.
Can I be the only one who feels
Disconnected and half alive?
I’d like to think that I’m not alone, that there’s others out there, but there’s no one out there.

And I’m still seeing darkly every time.
It’s hard to kick habits ingrained in a brainwashed mind.
They say that someday we’ll see face to face
And I hope that that’s the case
Cause until then I can’t fool myself that I’m not lost inside this place.

Well I’m still sick
And I won’t quit
Falling apart until I die, or until I find a way to live this life.
And I’m still sick
But I won’t quit
Even though it’s been too long, gotta find a final way to right this wrong.

Cause in the autumn twilight
And in the long dark winter night
I still hope to hear that calling sound.
And in the pitchest black I
Yearn to find my way back
If I’m lost then somehow I’ll be found.
Track Name: Can You Fly, Bobby?
Long arm pursuing, gotta avoid this heat
I know you took a bullet, need one more for the team
Can you fly Bobby?
Bobby can you fly?

Burnt the fucking money when you blew up the safe
But I’m happy that you’re here you’re gonna help us escape
Can you fly Bobby?
Bobby can you fly?

Let’s fucking try.

Working for the man down at OCP
Then you barge into the room and tell them, ‘bitches leave’
Can you cry Bobby?
Bobby can you cry?

Gotta get this deal done, if I don’t it’s a shame
Tigers playing tonight, I never miss a game
Can you cry Bobby?
Bobby can you cry?

Well I’m pretty pissed Dick, this thing blew up on me
Water under the bridge for a piece of Delta City
Boddicker’s the name, Michigan will never be the same

Later on down at the steel mill, Emil’s mutilated corpse all up in my grill
Watch you die Bobby
Bobby watch you die.

Ten years pass and not a damn thing changed
‘That 70’s Show’ will bring money and fame
Watch you die Bobby
Bobby watch you die.
Track Name: Janessa (Then)
Janessa’s going out, to a house tonight
The one that’s downtown, she’s heard it’s out of sight
A place where older kids live on their own terms, so they say.
She’s fifteen years old, she pulls up on a bike
She’s never been before, she wonders what it’s like
The funny thing is I was here fifteen years ago myself.

And I can tell you what I remember from those wasted days and nights
A time and place that seemed so magical at first I thought I’d found
The meaning I’d wanted all my life to that point, but I was so wrong
Here’s how it looks inside with time between us.

Well see the guy in the sweater there
Over by the over-stuffed easy chair
Tells the girls he’s a poet in the night, but when he’s done them he’s done
Yeah you know the type.

And see the girl with the blue hair?
The one with the smirk and the vacant stare.
She’s looking to hurt someone the way she was hurt last night
You’d better hold on tight.

This world’ll break you down, Janessa
It’ll break you down and tear you apart
There’s no way out.

This world broke them down, Janessa
Yeah, it broke them down and tore them apart
There’s no way out.

And you’ll kill yourself if you try and beat it
Best to walk away, unless you really mean it
Find the ones who are coming at you from the heart.

Janessa goes inside, and she likes what she sees
Wild and alive, the kids are living free
Or so it might seem from the the first glance on that night.

I felt that way myself, but now I wonder why
It feels like back then, a part of me just died
And it’s taken fifteen years to bring it back to life.

And I can tell you what I remember from those wasted days and nights
A time and place that seemed so magical at first I thought I’d found
The meaning I’d wanted all my life to that point, but I was so wrong
Here’s how it looks inside with time between us.

Well there’s a girl in the easy-chair
At night she cuts herself to make her parents care
But we’re so busy with politics that none of us can care at all.

And see that guy jumping up and down?
Life of the party, yeah he’s a clown.
I swear to God ten years from now he’s gonna hang himself.

This world’ll break you down, Janessa
It’ll break you down and tear you apart
There’s no way out.

This world broke us down, Janessa
Yeah it broke us down and tore us apart
There’s no way out.

And you’ll kill yourself if you try and beat it
Best to walk away, unless you really mean it
Find the ones who are coming at you from the heart.
Track Name: The Party (Now)
We saw our old friends at the party last night
Strangers and rivals even got along all right.
New young scenesters came to have one last look
I wonder how much they’re like us and if their dreams will see them through?

I wonder if RP boys still drink real hard?
I wonder if Sebastopol girls still serve whiskey in their front yard?

Chain smoking cigarettes, fighting over the last beers
I guess they helped to calm our fears.
Strange how we spent out best years:

Living in garages
On the wrong side of town.
Listen close and you might hear the sound
Of young losers playing loud.

Some thought they could change the world with Hope and good deeds
Not yet understanding it always bites the hand that feeds.

Somehow the images we cultivated
Are now a box of fliers and tattoos, half faded.

Chain smoking cigarettes, fighting over the last beers
I guess they helped to calm our fears.
Strange how we spent out best years:

Possessed like daredevils, we all climbed into vans
Racing out across the southlands
Just trying to make some strangers raise their hands.

Hey kid don’t get too enamored, with you and all your social friends
Ten years and none of this’ll matter, it’s how this party always seems to end

I live so different now, it makes me wonder how
Any of this ever happened at all.
Track Name: Hey Gennavieve
Met you one night at my place, yeah we threw a Marked Men record on
And now I, now I think about you every time I, every time I hear that song
Right here with you, right here with you
Every time I hear that song.
Right here with you, right here with you
Every time I hear that song.

Come on.

You sang along with the Marked Men, but you’d never
Heard Jay Reatard and now I
Now I think about you every time I, every time I hear that song
Right here with you, right here with you
Every time I hear that song.
Right here with you, right here with you
Every time I hear that song.

Stalk Myspace, call you on the phone
Send you text messages, you’re never ever home
Staring through your window with binoculars in a tree
I guess it didn’t mean a thing, so now there’s nothing more to do than sing, sing:

Hey Gennavieve, we never did, get that, get that drink.
Never never, never never, never never, no we never ever got that drink.
Track Name: Uriah Heep
Back in the day
You hid your intentions away
But I always knew
You hated anyone who ever outdid you.
Now we’re all best friends
Till someone ascends
To heights that you, never really thought they ought to.

You blame your failures on bad luck
But the truth is, all the things you’ve ever done were for false reasons and

Now don’t hate
Just because it’s too late.
Your rise to fame has never come, you’re all done.
Your pathetic crew, has all abandoned you, you’re not fooling anyone.

Twelve years ago
Your big ego
It could intimidate
But nowadays your shit just seems third rate.
Your insecurities
Are now so plain to me
They’ve brought you to your knees
But that won’t buy you any sympathy.

You blame your failures on bad luck
But the truth is, all the things you’ve ever done were for false reasons and

Now don’t hate
Just because it’s too late.
Your rise to fame has never come, you’re all done.
Your pathetic crew, has all abandoned you, you’re not fooling anyone.

I know when you hear this shit, you’re gonna try and diss it
But just remember that you never could do, never could do this.
Track Name: Bad News Muse
Bad news muse, this one’s for you
Last song I’m gonna waste on you
Succubus, in a polka dot dress
Such a beautiful disaster and a mess.

Bad new muse, this one’s for you
A million things I’ve gotta say and it’s true
Cursed my heart, infected my brain
I’m all alone and I think I’ll go insane.

Bad news muse, this one’s for you
Just one last thing I’ve gotta say to you
You hurt my heart, yeah you left it bruised
And now my veins are just a-pumping black and blue.

Can you savor the night, can you savor the sounds
Can you savor the times when I’m not around?
Track Name: Get Dead
Drinking in my room, fucked up over you,
You can’t even talk about the things you want with us.
Basking in the gloom, of addiction you pursue,
Cause a mirror and razor’s all you crave for.

People that you’ve been before, that you don’t want around anymore
How true were those words wrote for you
And how could I think I was gonna save you?

Yeah I’d rather get dead
Than live with you inside my head
Can’t believe I fell for that shit they call love.

I used to hope the time we spent would somehow never ever end
But now I think about the time we spent and then

I’d rather get dead
Than live with you inside my head
Can’t believe I fell for that shit they call love.
Track Name: Ativan Anthem
Call an ambulance
This time I’m finally done.
From years of anxious guilt
Look at what I’ve become.
Bloodshot eyes, I hardly sleep at night
Zoned out all day, I’m never feeling right
Not human any more
Gripped with fear with nothing to run from.

I’m barely breathing, and my
Heart is beating, out of my chest
Crossing my heart cause the end is near
Wondering who will find me here
Dead at 31.

This is
The end of my
Miserable life.
Brought on by
All of this
Internal strife.
This final
Anxiety
Cuts like a knife.

Call an ambulance
I’ve finally lost my mind.
Won’t have the chance
To say my goodbyes.

Left wrist up, two fingers on my pulse
It’s racing out of time, my chest is getting tight
My arms are going numb
Gripped with fear with nothing to run from.
Track Name: What More Can I Say?
The shades are drawn, the door is locked, and I’m laying low so
Don’t be offended if I’m not around tonight to fucking go to your show
Or open mic or opening or your ballet recital
I’m all strung out, agoraphobia has got me anti-social

You might say that I’m crazy, and you’re right yes I am
But you’d have to be crazy not to be like I am
And I’d have to be crazy not to want this to end

What more can I say, what more can I do
I’m falling right apart don’t you see it too?
What more can I say, what more can I do?

The ancient Greeks called it hamartia, nowadays it’s bipolar neurosis
But either way it’s got me holed up, it’s nothing personal I’ve gotta sort through this shit

You might say that I’m crazy, and you’re right yes I am
But you’d have to be crazy not to be like I am
And I’d have to be crazy not to want this to end

What more can I say, what more can I do
I’m falling right apart don’t you see it too?
What more can I say, what more can I do?

I guess I’ve lost the feeling
Broken down and beaten
What can I do?
Track Name: Love Song
When I was young this world taught me, through its schools and through its writings, I controlled the things around me with the sheer force of my will.
And I heard the very same thing on TV and from my family, ‘You’re the best and you are blameless, so go out and take your fill.’

But as the years went by it didn’t make much sense, we’re all weak with ignorance, controlling nothing but the way we act with one another.

So goodbye, cause it’s over
I loved you, but it’s over
Just an unrequited love song to myself.

When I got a little older, I saw things that made me wonder what was wrong with this whole world, so I fell in with a crew.
Yeah we talked a lot of bullshit about how we were so different, but in the end it’s still all egos dressed up with some old tattoos.

Since then, I’ve found we’re all guilty before each
For everyone and everything
And myself a greater criminal than all the others.

So goodbye, cause it’s over
I loved you, but it’s over
Just an unrequited love song to myself.

When I was young this world taught me life had value in utility, and each breath it could be measured by important things we do.
And I remember feeling excited about a tribe where they sent old men off to die alone in the ice when their productive years were through.

It makes me wonder now, is this the best that we can hope
Living like machines strung out on dope
Clicking parts and whirring gears, oblivious to one another?

So goodbye, cause it’s over
I loved you, but it’s over
Just an unrequited love song to myself.
Track Name: Your Fault
Now, it’s always your fault
All night and day, yeah it’s always your fault.
All night and day.

Left me waiting at the gallows to hang
Without so much as a reason.
Your wayward ways are always to blame
And now I’m starting to see it.
This time you’re wrong
It won’t be long
I won’t forgive, I won’t forget, I won’t forgive.

Now, it’s always your fault
All night and day, now it’s always your fault.
All night and day.

You left me waiting at the gallows to hang
Without so much as a reason.
I can hear you just a-laughing it up, saying
‘Ain’t got the guts to be leaving.’
This time you’re wrong
It won’t be long
I won’t forgive, I won’t forget, I won’t forgive.

Now, it’s always your fault
All night and day, now it’s always your fault.
All night and day.

Someday soon, you’ll be the one who’s lonely
Whatcha gonna do, when you’re the one who’s lonely?

Left me waiting at the gallows to hang
Without so much as a reason.
Don’t be thinking that you pulled one on me
No don’t you ever believe it.
This time you’re wrong
It won’t be long
I won’t forgive, I won’t forget, I won’t forgive.

Now, it’s always your fault
All night and day, yeah it’s always your fault.
All night and day.
Track Name: Winter of '96
Wouldn’t care if I died, was what I said
When I thought I would live, forever and
All these days and these nights weren’t blurred together

I used to think that yesterday was close at hand and here to stay
But lately days turn into months, that become years we spent apart.
Sometimes the moments let me forget, but at night with a drink and a cigarette
I realize that going through the motions, is counting down to the end of all emotions.

It was just a few years ago, I thought
Maybe baby we’d last forever
But now I see it all slipping away
Day by day.

Wouldn’t care if I died, was what I said
When I thought I would live, forever and
All these days and these nights weren’t blurred together
But nowadays I don’t find, my time is long
On this earth when I walk, these streets alone
And these days and these nights are blurred together

The same moves but a different day and place
I used to think that they’d extend forever through space
But now I know, we’ll stumble through a few more times and then we’ll go.
And these days I can never understand, when they say, ‘It’s the clothes that make a man.’
Or any other products, tastes, beliefs or interests.

It was just a few years ago, I thought
Maybe baby we’d last forever
But now I see it all slipping away
Day by day.